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Working On Your Inner Self

Updated: Dec 15, 2022

Welcome to the Born for Greatness podcast. I am so glad you have decided to join me today. I wanted to tap briefly today on being kind to others and how to excel in the workplace while being kind and not by being mean because it can be done.

I will first start off off with a story in which I was on vacation and I was watching these two young girls on the beach. 2 hours they took pictures of each other in every single pose you can think of and beyond. I didn't even know how they came up with some of the things they were coming up with, but I was watching because I found it so intriguing. And I kept looking at my watch like, are they for real? Still taking pictures? Trust me, girls, you are gorgeous. One, two, you are good. But it's so funny because they were so into it and it dawned on me and I thought, what if we put that type of effort into what we look like on the inside our hearts and less on how we look on the outside. Now, I'm not going to say that looks don't play an important role. I get it. We all want to look good, feel our best.

Clearly exercise is huge for me and being fit and healthy is a big deal. So I'm not discrediting physical attributes and being healthy. What I'm saying is if we even spent not even like a quarter of the time working on our hearts and who we are, oh man, what a difference that would make. What a difference that would make. They don't even have words on it, honestly, because it's become such a part of our society in which we are so focused on outward appearance and what we look like and how we're perceived by people on the internet and how many likes and comments we get for that bikini photo or whatever it may be. But what is more important and what lasts the longest is our hearts and how we treat people, how we make people feel. I think those things are so incredibly important and it's just not the thing that most people put their main focus on and that's not to blame anyone or put fault on anyone by any means. Because I feel like we're kind of drilled like from the moment you can remember, right?

You see these images and these things about looking a certain way and being a certain way and you see these billboards with beautiful men and women and you go, I want to look like that and I want to be like that. And again, there's nothing wrong with that, but you don't ever see anything about being kinds of people and doing nice things and all of that kind of stuff. So I just wish that that was more of a focus because I think we could change the world if we changed our hearts. And hopefully I can inspire somebody to exercise kindness and your body too, because that's super important. But I'm getting off the topic. It wasn't until Gary V, who started talking about kindness, that I've seen somebody with that type of platform talk about being kind so much as him. And man, every time I see him put out a video and he talks about being kind, I'm like, oh, my heart. Like, yes, it is so important. I can remember I told my mom long ago, I said, I am going to climb the corporate ladder and I'm going to get as far as I can, and I'm going to do it by being kind. I am not one to throw other people under the bus.

I don't push other people down to elevate myself because I just don't think that it has a lasting effect. I think being kind lasts a lot longer. If you think about it, right when you go to someone's funeral or you think about someone who's past and I'm not talking celebrities who have whatever certain things that I'm talking, like family members or close friends, what's the first thing you think about? My guess is you're not going to think about how beautiful they were as the very first thing you're going to think about the impact they had on your life, how they made you feel, what they did for others, what kind of human they were. Yes, you might also remember their physical attributes that you admired, but that's not typically the very first thing people think of. It just isn't. So why don't we spend more time? I don't understand. There's so many things we can do to enhance our inner beauty, just like enhancing our outer beauty. And I wish that there were more people who would speak up about it because, especially being a female, it is something that is drilled into your brain from the moment you are young, that you have to look in a certain way to be loved, that you have to act a certain way to be cared for and respected. And I could go off, but I'm not going to allow myself to go there because I have so much to say about that. But that's for another day.

So I did just what I told my mom I was going to do. I climbed that ladder, and I did it by being nice. And here's the thing. Some people will think, well, okay, but you can't fire somebody and be nice. Well, yes, you can. I have a background in HR. You 100% can fire someone while being nice. Why do you have to be mean? Why do you have to point out just flaws, things people did wrong? Why can't you say, these things didn't work? I needed this to happen, and unfortunately, you weren't able to do them. I appreciate what you did, or these are areas you were good. I don't need to tell you how to do that. But my point is you don't have to do it and be mean. You don't have to push people down to get ahead. You don't have to be a jerk. It's just you don't have to. I don't understand. There's this philosophy and this thought process that in order to get higher, we have to push others lower. Where did that come from? Where did that start? I wish I knew. Because it's the most bizarre, ridiculous thing. It is so, so not true. Yes, you might be faced with a decision that means you have to push somebody down in order to get up. I think we're all probably faced with those decisions at some point in life, and choosing to be kind may not have an immediate bonus, but I can almost guarantee that later on there is going to be something really great that comes from it. Really great. Again, there's this weird thought process that if you are kind and you care, it means that you allow people to walk all over you. And that is not true. I mean, for some people, yes, but it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to make it that way. You can set boundaries.

Some people and it baffles me because a lot of times boundaries are seen as like, either being they can be seen as being mean or they can be seen as being difficult. No, actually, boundaries help you stay kind and help you achieve what you need to achieve. And saying no to someone doesn't mean you're being mean. It means that you've set a boundary and you're caring things about you. You never want to put yourself in a position that, you know, you can't act kindly because as soon as you do, things just go awry. Now, does that mean that I think I've been kind to everyone all the time? Absolutely not. I'm not perfect. Oh, gosh, I'm so far from perfect. I wish I was, but I also know that's not obtainable. So I just try. I try to be kind whenever I can, whenever I'm faced with a conflict or any difficult circumstance. I still think you can get your point across with being kind. It's delivery, it's your tone, it's so many things. But I think actually, I mean, I don't know. Right? Is it because the corporate world was mostly men in the beginning? Is that why it's so cutthroat? I wonder, because men and women are so different. My gosh, have I learned that having three boys? But they really are. They're so different. And I wonder if that has anything to do with it. Although, boy, women can be awfully nasty to each other too. My goodness, they can. So I don't know. I really don't know where it came from. I don't understand the thought process and the philosophy behind that. I just don't. I don't know what to say about that. I just don't. But be kind. Let's work on our inner beauty. How can we improve? How can we learn to handle situations differently where we don't end up saying hurtful things because we're hurt? How do we change that? I don't know.

But I am on a mission to figure out how we can teach people to work on interviewing, because it's going to far outlast any physical attributes or whatever. You can get as much work done as you want. Trust me, I have nothing against it. Beauty fades. It's going to eventually fade. It's just the way that it is. It's life. It sucks. Trust me. I'm not doing well with the aging process at all. And 40 is going to be just not good for me. If you can't find me when I'm 40, it's because I'm in a cave. But no, I'm just kidding. We have to stop making that our main focus. Hearts first, outward appearance second. Not saying outward appearance isn't important because it is. And I get it. I'm faced with the same pressures as every other female out there, and it's exhausting to try to be a certain way and look a certain way and fit into this mold that nobody really fits into. I mean, they don't. I would rather be seen and known for how I treat people and things I do for people versus anything else. Doesn't mean I don't get angry. No, I wish that was the case, but I once in a while get angry. You'll very rarely hear me yell, though. I'm not a yeller, but anyway, that's off topic a little bit there. So join me. Join me in working on inner beauty, letting your inner light shine brighter than your outward appearance ever could. And let's go show the world that we were born for greatness.

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