The Power of Vulnerability
Updated: Dec 14, 2022
Welcome to the Born For Greatness Podcast. I'm so glad you could join me today. Today, we're going to talk about the power of vulnerability because there is so much power in it. I'm going to start off by, I guess, telling you a story about how I have learned the power and vulnerability. And it is not an easy thing to learn, by the way.
So I always equated being vulnerable with being weak. Why would you allow people in? Why would you allow people to see maybe your flaws or the things that you're not that great about? Why would you do that? That's that's weakness. We got to show that we're tough, that we have this, like, great exterior.
And it wasn't up until a couple of years ago that I learned that vulnerability actually equals strength. And thanks to Rene Brown and her, if you've never checked out any of her stuff, go check her out. She's great. She really talks about just that, the power in vulnerability and you know all about if you want to be a leader, you have to be vulnerable. And all of these great things that she's the expert on and not me. I think it's really important that we learn that being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness. Because I think so. Let's go back.
For me, I've talked about my divorce a little bit here and there, but it was so traumatizing for me that I decided that in order to keep myself from ever feeling pain again, especially that type of pain, I was going to put up this brick wall and I wasn't going to let anybody in. So I was going to maintain this this facade that I was strong, independent. Head down. Go, go, go type. And I made myself
into almost, almost a little bit like a robot in the fact that I did not show emotion to a lot of things because I was so afraid that showing my emotions, people would think I was weak. And that's.
I didn't have it together, and I was trying so hard to prove that I was worthy and that I could take on everything that was in front of me, mostly because I felt like I didn't have a choice. I had to provide for my kids. I wanted to be this strength for them, and I just took it too far. I really was just so afraid of feeling pain again that I decided it was just better to block any type of feeling or emotion out because that was going to keep me safe. And little did I know that robbed me of joy. It robbed me of experiences. It robbed me of relationships. It just sucks. Honestly, it really sucks. It isolates you. It makes you lonely. And in turn, it's not doing you any good.
So learning that you actually have to be strong because you do, right? Because you're. When you're allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you're you're allowing, you know, people in. You're allowing people to criticize and to be judgmental, to, you know, think whatever they want to think about you. And if you're weak, you you can't write because that's I was weak. It was too hard for me to take those things in because it would hurt so bad. Right. I, I really just needed to keep up this tough exterior
when inside I hate I have this huge heart and it gets broken pretty easily and. It was it was a very hard thing to recover from for me. So I found that to say, learning that that strength. Meant that I could be vulnerable and should be vulnerable. Was very freeing for me. And it took a long time to learn that and to understand it and really
to believe it.
That's that's that's the key is to really believe that there is strength in vulnerability. But this
is what it allows, right? It allows you to. Relate to people. It allows you to have blessings come out of difficult times and situations. I know I personally have been able to help other people who have either the mentality of I have to pour everything out and be a certain way in order to be valued and to be seen as worthy to to sit at this table. Or just maybe women who are in a tough situation and feeling like if they expose what they're in, then people are going to see them as weak. And that's not the case either. So I think it's hard because we all I mean, if you think about it, right. Especially thanks to the wonderful world of social media, which has its own pros and cons, everybody displays
their highlight reels. So it looks as though people are perfect and they have it all together. And
it's it's it's it's very hard not to look at that and think, well, their lives are perfect. I have to be perfect. So here's what I have to do. Here's what I have to bring to the table in order to be accepted and to be loved because.
If I'm vulnerable, if I let people know about the things that I'm struggling with or some of my weaknesses, I'm not going to be loved. I'm going to be an outcast. I'm going to be judged. Which, honestly, it might happen. It really, truly might. But let me tell you, if you get to a place where you are confident enough in who you are, will those things still hurt?
Yeah, they probably will. But you're also going to be at a place where you can say, you know what? I don't want those people in my life then. If you can't love me and respect me for me. Then you're probably not supposed to be in my circle anyways. I mean, I can go on and on about that whole piece, but being vulnerable. It's hard. It's really hard because you've opened yourself up. And that's scary. That's really scary. Especially if you are someone like me who built up all of these tough walls. Thinking that that was going to be the thing to protect that far from ever getting broken again. And yeah, to a degree it does. It really does, because you don't allow anybody in. Right. Everything's kind of a surface level, but it robs you of joy. It really truly robs you of joy. And I think that that's where the real strength comes in. If you are strong enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable, to possibly be hurt again. Isn't that better than never having any joy or any type of, you know, real meaning relationship ever again?
I mean, I'm talking any type of relationship here. I don't know. I think it's. I think it's worth being vulnerable. I did not think that in the past, but I have learned that I think it's worth it. And again, there is beauty that comes out of ashes. There really, truly is. And I think that it's important to
to see that because we don't want to get stuck in this mindset that I have to be a certain way. And if I expose these things about me that I don't love, then that means I won't be left. And that's just not the case, guys. It's just not. We all know no one is perfect. So why do we put these expectations on ourselves that we know we can never live up to and would never expect anyone else to live up to?
Right. I mean, it's so true.
So I just encourage you to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Yes, you might get hurt. And is it going to suck on 1,000,000%? But if you never allow that, you're never going to get the chance to experience true joy. So that's all I have for you today. Don't be afraid to be you. And when I see that and I know I say that a lot, like be you be awesome because you're awesome. Like, I truly 100% believe that. I really do. Because we are awesome just the way we are. And if we could just stop trying to people please, and be everything that we think everyone else wants us to be, and we just be ourselves flawed and all. I think that you will come to realize that the way people view you is so much different than you ever thought they would. Because I respect people who have the courage to be vulnerable. That speaks volumes because I know from experience it's not easy and it's hard. But again, there's so much joy on the other side. So I leave you with that today. Go have an awesome day because you are awesome, and I keep telling you that.