Finding Your Grace

Welcome to the Born for Greatness podcast. I am so honored that you have decided to join me today. I truly, truly am. I certainly don't expect much from this other than just the place to come and hang out, so here I am. Next week it's not next week, it's biweekly. I need to get this down, first of all. But in two of weeks, I'm going to have a guest on. We're going to talk real estate, actually, the next couple of ones I'm trying to line up to talk about, like, real estate and business because those are huge passions of mine and I want to talk about them. So make sure you tune in. It's going to be very educational and exciting and I love the guests, just say that much.

But anyways, be sure to tune in. Going back to today, what are we going to talk about today? So I want to discuss giving yourself grace. This is something that I spend a lot of time on trying to do for myself, and I encourage others as well. We live in a society and you hear it all the time. It's not like this is groundbreaking, but where it's just, look at me and me, me. And then you're left comparing yourself to these people on social media who look perfect, who have filters, who have been airbrushed in every way, shape or form, and you're stuck thinking, oh my gosh, I don't look like that. Their lives look wonderful. Well, I don't do that, or, I haven't accomplished that much by this age. And I can't afford to go on these lavish vacations and this, and I can't, and I wish and I'm not enough and blah, blah, blah, blah. You can really just go to a place where you shouldn't go.

And this is so hard because we're programmed to look at these things all day long, right?

These messages that continually come in over and over, and you're left thinking, god, am I enough? Am I ever going to be enough? How can I compare? How can I even come close to being like these people, to being someone that people look up to or that someone want to be with? Because we have these idealistic views of people, and we've gone from seeing other humans as peers to putting them up on a pedestal, which there's nothing wrong with putting certain people or things up on a pedestal and admire and want to be like them. Let me just say that there's nothing wrong with that. However, when we start comparing ourselves and we start having negative self talk because of these things that we're influenced by, that's where the problem lies. So we're in this world where perfection seems to be the norm, right? And if you can't live up to standards A, B and C, then you're worth nothing. Then you have no value, then you have no purpose. I've talked about this before on Instagram. I think, I don't know. But the whole concept of in corporate America, there's this everybody's replaceable this mentality. So don't get too comfortable. You're replaceable, I can replace you in two weeks. Boom, boom. And it makes you feel devalued. It makes you feel like you have no worse and it makes you question yourself. Right? I mean, I know I have and thought, well, okay then what do I bring to the table?

Do I bring anything significant to the table if I can so easily be replaced and substituted?

But I gave this a lot of thought and consideration and I truly, truly believe that no one is replaceable. Is there a certain job or responsibility? Can that be replaced and can someone else perform those tasks? Absolutely, hands down. There are many people in this world and certainly there are plenty of other people who can do the tasks and responsibilities that you have. However, there is no one like you. No one. You are special. You are your own individual. You have your own uniquenesses. You have your own gifts that no one else on this world is going to match completely. You are you and no one else can be you. So when someone says, well, you're replaceable. No, I'm not. My tasks and responsibilities are replaceable, but I'm not no one else is going to do this job in the way I do. No one's going to bring this certain personality or dynamic to the position that I do. And I think that is so important that we remember that because again, we can so easily be devalued in the society by thinking that there are other people who can do what you do better and are greater and can just outshine you and yeah, sure. Are there going to be people who could probably do your tasks better than you? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we all have room for growth, let's make sure we get that straight. But I just want to reiterate and help you to remember that no one is you and there is nobody like you. And I think yeah, I said in the first podcast because this was hard for me in the sense like I often think like, well, what do I have to offer the world?

What makes me unique?

Other people have gone through divorce, there's other single parents, there's other women who have suffered in abusive relationships. I'm not unique in that sense. It's not just me. So hear my story, but nobody else is going to deliver it like I do. Other people might not have well, they're not going to have the same heart as me, right? Mine is different. It doesn't mean it's better or worse than anybody else's. It's just different. I might be able to reach and help one person that somebody else might not be able to because that one person isn't able to connect with them the way they are able to connect with me. So let's not devalue ourselves and think, just because there's other people out there who are talking about the same thing or have experienced the same thing, it doesn't degrade what you've been through. It doesn't degrade who you are and what you bring to the table. Because what you bring to the table is going to be different than what anyone else can. I could go on and on about this because it is just so important that we stop looking at everybody else on social media and saying, what if?

What If?

What if I was thinner? What if I was stronger? What if I was smarter? What if I looked like that? What if I had that person as my spouse? What if I had that type of money? What if? What if, what if you can live your life in the what ifs. I don't want to live my life in the what ifs. I know what I'm capable of. I know what my strengths are. I know what my gifts are, and I forgot, I'm sure know what my weaknesses are, and I don't like them very much, but I'm learning to accept them and I am working on those weaknesses. And I think that's that's all that we can offer. And that's more than enough. It's more than enough to show up and to say, here I am. I am not perfect. I am vulnerable. I am human, but I am here and I am determined to do a good job and I am a good person. And if it's a relationship, I will love you. I will go above and beyond, no matter what it is. It's that you show up, that you come and you're ready and willing and evil. Just show up. The rest will work itself out. It will always work itself out. Just be you. We have to stop trying to be other people because I don't want somebody else. I want you. I want you to be you. And yeah, is everybody going to accept you the way you are? Of course not. It's just not a reality. It's not going to happen. Because a lot of people haven't done their work. They haven't gotten to a place where they can realize that people come with flaws. Everyone is flawed. But that's not a reason to not respect someone or to love someone or to give them grace. And more importantly, we need to learn to give ourselves grace. Because I know for myself, if I have messed up or done something wrong, I can guarantee you no one can punish me more or beat me up more than I have already done.

I Am My Worst Critic

So to myself, I am my worst critic. I am harder on myself than anyone. But again, this is where I've had to learn to give myself grace and remind myself that I'm not perfect, that I'm not always going to get it right, but that I show up. I come with a good attitude most of the time, and I am willing and able to learn. And most importantly, I'm good with being me. I am okay that I am never going to look like a supermodel. And I am okay that I'm not in a position where I can sit on a yacht all day. Not that I would mind that although my brain goes a million miles a minute and I'd be bored very quickly. Let's face reality here, but can I work from said yacht? I would like to work from said yacht, but we'll working on that anyways. More importantly, I know what feeds my soul and what I need to do to be better and how I can work at being better. So I kind of went off on a whole tangent there.

Back to giving yourself grace. I remind people a lot about giving themselves grace because it's not an easy thing to do. It's not something that we're told to do or that we learn to do and we can just wake up and say, yeah, I made a mistake. It's okay, no problem. I'm going to give myself grace here. It's just not something that we're programmed to do. So we have to be reminded either by someone else or at some point hopefully, you'll learn to do it for yourself. But just to say, hey, you know what? I'm human. I'm going to make mistakes. Does that make me less than? No, it doesn't. All it means is that you're like everybody else in the sense that no one is perfect. No one on this earth is ever going to reach perfection. So let's stop trying so damn hard to be perfect and instead just learn to love who we are. That's it. That's what I have to say today. So love yourself. Learn to accept yourself, flaws and all. And then bringing to figure out what your superpower is. It's coming with an intermission of real estate because we got to mix things up over here. Anyways, I hope you have an awesome day and I am so excited to be back in two weeks.